Fuchsia Shocks:Episode 1

Hello. Welcome to the first of a regular feature where we preview the DVDs of the future. When you watch these, you'll most likely be wearing a silver space suit, eating roast dinners in capsule form and riding a hoverboard, but dreaming of what's yet to come is the central guiding force of humankind. For millennia, Man (and woMan... phew, that was close) has gazed up at the stars and dreamed of owning these very products. So let's bang on, eh?

We're fortunate today to get the jump on every other website, by exclusively revealing two titles due for release during the highly competitive Christmas gifting season, from BBC Video and 2|entertain.

One could get highly irritated by their complete inability to release shows which are crying out for venturing onto shiny beermat (see Please Release Me, above), but these two new DVDs have swept away all claims I could have made about them being slow on the uptake, missing a trick, and possibly something about personal hygiene.

First up...

The One Show Complete Series Box Set
Volume 1 shown (of a 40-volume collection)
A handsome addition to any DVD collection, deserving of its
own annex. Worthy of the extra cost.

It's the ONE you've been waiting for! Finally, all 1000+ episodes of smash hit BBC One early evening drudgery The One Show are heading your way in a complete series box set! All uncut, too-hot-for-TV director's cut episodes feature commentary tracks from every host. Plus! Dozens of bonus features, such as "Where Are They Now... And Why?" featurette, focusing on Hardeep Singh Kohli, Carol Thatcher and Jason Mamford, extended  karaoke version of The One Show theme tune, and exclusive CCTV footage of Adrian Chiles stalking Christine Bleakley, plus the hilarious answerphone messages he left her. Don't miss out on this 200 disc box set, retailing at a mere £999.99, just in time for Christmas. Put a smile on grandma's face!

Next...

Wonders Of The Lovely Professor Brian Cox DVD
A lavish series of stills of the science teacher you
wish you had, featuring starwipe upon starwipe
for your viewing pleasure.

Do you like Professor Brian Cox? Of course you do. Ever wish you could just watch him on mountaintops and not worry about learning about science and that? This is the show for you!

Wonders Of That Lovely Professor Brian Cox is for those nobbers that want their fix of physics guru Professor Brian Cox, but can't be bothered to listen to his sage wisdom about pulsars, Gliese 581D, dark matter and entropy. Put a smile on your mum's face this Christmas with this beautiful DVD.

Not convinced? Click below to watch an exclusive clip...

Wonders Of That Lovely Professor Brian Cox

Click here for a slightly more HD version

I hope that these end up on your Christmas wish list. You'd better get those pre-orders in pretty damn sharpish...