Day 15...

Morning, all.

Last year's Dystopian Advent Calendar, much like this one, was based primarily on what's been of annoyance in the recent past, though last year's had a bit more irrelevant stuff. Like Christopher Lillicrap and Arthur Fowler banged up. This year, many of last year's subjects have fallen by the wayside, as although they're still alive, they haven't been as troubling. Heather Mills must be happy with the money she got from Macca, as I've barely heard her mentioned this year. Likewise, Josh whatshisname from the T-Mobile ads (who, bizarrely, started following me on Twitter not long after (he's unfollowed since)), Justin Lee Collins (who, since then, has been rapidly vanishing up Sky Three's welcoming buttocks into oblivion), and Patrick fucking Kielty (only one or two TV appearances this year, and though I still detest the man and his mean-spirited 'comedy', it's nice to have a break from him on my telly).

I'm hoping that today's subject, by this time next year, will be a distant memory (albeit the sort that you need decades of therapy to recover from). Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...

... Michael McIntyre.

Yet another generic light entertainment enema of a man. Why do so many of his ilk wind up on television? Supremely outdated, there's no danger, no edge to his comedy. Perhaps it's the pinprick eyes and mid-puberty wavering voice, annoyingly and permanently teetering on the edge of breaking. Maybe it's because he looks like one of the Riddlers. I just don't know where his comedy is supposed to come from. I just don't "get" him. Bland, pointless, unfunny, ever so slightly smug, with an irritating hyperactivity, as though he's fallen into a character that he wishes he could leave behind, like Slurms McKenzie on Futurama. It all feels a little bit... safe. I think we're about due a resurgence of "alternative" comedy, like we had in the early 80s; we have a Tory government out of touch with the people, and disastrously anachronistic comedy on TV. We need something subversive. This pilchard ain't it.

Michael McIntyre

A Riddler

More tomorrow!