Talent Is Other People's Songs

I posted this as my status on Facebook:

Now, if those twins win the X Factor, perhaps it'll finally signpost it in big letters to the fickle general public that it's a monumental, patronising waste of time and money. Let's reclaim the Xmas number one away from such cynical rubbish.

One of my friends asked me why I cared. Aside from wishing that John and Edward were in a similar state to their Kennedy namesakes, I didn't know that I did. However...

I remember a time when people had to work toward fame via their talent. Shows like X Factor and its predecessors and ilk have flooded the airwaves with micro-celebrities, and the British public now have no idea what 'talent' is. We've had fairweather non-entities forced upon us for years now, and that includes the bland idiots they get hosting the shows. Even though 'proper' Xmas songs in the past may have been cynical money-making machines, at least they were original songs that have stayed in the public consciousness for decades, and they weren't quick-buck cover versions. The public are compelled to invest emotion into these people, but I defy anyone to actually name any of the contestants in four months' time.

I don't care as such, it just angers me that broadcasters invest so much money into them, rather than into original drama and comedy. ITV, though I never watch it, have axed a lot of their staple dramas in recent months to save money. Having worked for HMV for years (though no longer), I had to put up with it again and again; people coming in just to buy the single, then deciding to get into a fucking chat with me about "ooh, he/she's done ever so well, and he/she's so brave with the polio/hepatitis/dysentery their aunt/mother/milkman has/had/thought about once". I had to be polite, but couldn't help looking disinterested, whilst wondering what the world had fucking come to that some fly-by-night chancer had evoked such a brainless following on a televised karaoke programme on ITVfucking1. I'm just waiting for the bubble to burst, and with Channel 4 sensibly axing Big Brother, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and the British public might actually one day rediscover that 'real' music does exist out there, in a myriad of forms. I find it laughable that Cheryl "remember me? I was the one who punched that woman in the toilets once and called her a black bitch" Cole is in a position to judge anyone on their singing ability. The entire show is a dreadful waste of time and money, as are the spin-off singles.

Don't get me fucking started on Strictly Come Dancing. Watching an elderly, cusp-of-senility gentleman doddering about with that mannequin from the yoghurt advert whilst more micro-celebrities fucking dance. I have a good mind to not start paying my licence fee.
Okay, I do care. A bit. I care about the fact that the two biggest broadcasters in the UK feel comfortable enough to pour lowest common denominator effluence down our eye sockets, and angry that the British public are now so dense that they let them, en masse. There's no imagination left nowadays. I don't believe for one minute that people are remotely interested in "the human journey". People are bastards. They just want to see someone fail. Unfortunately, the talent vaccums that end up on these shows start believing their own hype, their egos swell, and the producers actively encourage it, knowing full well that their inevitablefall will make "great television", by which I mean toe-curlingly embarrassing crying, with oh-so-sad soap opera incidental music to accompany. Then it's onto the next loser.

As an aside, apparently a "Jedward" is a Jedi that went to public school. See also "Sithbastian".