Tuesday 17 November 2009

Ooh! New look!

You may have noticed I've made a header for the blog, something I've wanted to do since I set it up. The picture in the top right will hopefully be changed every so often, but in the meantime, it's this allegedly racist, violent idiot.

Any suggestions, let me know, and you will be credited for your idea. It's a bit like the Gallery from Take Hart with puerile or sarcastic messages thrown in. I sent a picture of E.T. to Tony Hart when I was six. The only Gallery he put it in was the small, round plastic gallery under his desk, the fucking cravat-wearing, fey-voiced, utterly talented bastard. Rest in peace, Tony.

2 comments:

Stella.K17 November 2009 at 23:03
I've just had a glance at a celebrity page and discovered that Sam Fox is on 'I'm a Celebrity...' Apparently, she and fellow contestants have been wrestling with an octopus, eels, huge water spiders and CRABS - which they had to hold in their mouths for 30 seconds - to try to win food and beds for the base camp. Perhaps a small affectionate piccie could be made where Sam lovingly embraces one of these creatures
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Ian Hewett17 November 2009 at 23:08
It's on the to-do list. :)
I've just made the one to replace Cheryl "Bruiser" Tweedy-Cole.
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Children's Television: The Re-Imagining

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Ulysses 31

The Odyssey drifted soundlessly through the void, its captain tired but happy. Despite all the evidence, he'd never really considered how their adventures seemed to recall ancient Greek mythology. The clues were always there, to be fair, but Ulysses was usually too busy preening to think about it, his flowing locks and Richard Stilgoe beard the most important things in the universe. Since putting two and two together (realising that he was called Ulysses was quite a large clue), he abandoned his quest to save his crew, and searched the galaxy for those more colourful aspects of ancient Greece that he'd read about on the, um, Space Internet.

The past fortnight, they'd spent time on the planet Dionysia 5, in the city of Orgion. Perhaps not the best of things to expose Telemachus to at his age, but what sort of father would he be if he didn't, somehow, explain the birds and the bees? Here he now stood on the bridge of his ship, the echoes of his son's vomiting echoing along the bulkhead, Ulysses headed to his quarters, passing the telepathic Yumi. She paused to read his mind, screamed, and ran down the corridor in floods of tears. Ulysses decided to have a cold shower.

He reached his quarters, the shame of a fortnight's debauchery weighing heavily on his conscience. There, sprawled coquettishly on his bed, was the creepy little robot Nono, as apt a name as any right now, as he made suggestive gestures with a rusty screw. Ulysses felt nauseous, slightly concerned at the burning itch that had flared up.

Read dozens more here. Send your requests to me on Twitter to @IanHewett.

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Tuesday 17 November 2009

Ooh! New look!

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Ulysses 31

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Tuesday 17 November 2009

Ooh! New look!

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