Hello! Blimey, has it really been 2 months?
Yes. Yes it has.
Loads to tell, but I unfortunately can't tell you yet. But I will.
At some point. How exciting, eh?
Anyway, last year, I ran the first annual Shit Britons contest, where Dystopian Fuchsia readers voted for the absolute worst that this country has to offer. The doors were thrown open for people to vote for history's biggest tossers, from repressive tit Oliver Cromwell to most destructive chess player ever Field Marshal Douglas Haig, from bloated murdering bigamist Henry VIII to creaking embodiment of evil Margaret Thatcher.
Naturally, votes flooded in for people from the modern world of celebrity. Fair enough.
After the final votes were counted (click
here and
here), it became clear that the people of the ancient era of last year thought that self aggrandising knight of the realm baiting chunk of unfunny James Corden was the worst person that Britain has ever produced.
Ever.
So, how have things changed this year? Votes were fairly low for Cameron and Clegg, and nobody voted for Thatcher. How odd.
For your consideration, then:
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David Cameron and Nick Clegg, public school educated scourge of working class rights.
Cameron, former Bullingdon Club member, hates you. He's plotting against you, personally.
Unless you're landed gentry, in which case you should be fine.
Meanwhile, Clegg... something something something. Oh, you know. |
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Russell Howard... he indirectly sparked some controversy on this very site earlier in the year; he was the first entry on 2010's Dystopian Advent Calendar, and 3 months later, some internet troll stumbled upon it. Ooh, they didn't like that.
Anyway, he's a bit of a bore, not remotely funny, enjoys talking about a mixture of bestiality and wanking, and is not above the odd bit of casual racism. Tit. |
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| Gary Glitter, still one of the most reviled men in the country, he failed to garner a single vote in last year's shitfest. Which is highly puzzling, given that in the past couple of years, we've had such lovely fare as The Execution of Gary Glitter (click here, here and here) to remind us what a sick human being he is. How will he do in this year's contest? |
And there are literally millions of other people you could choose from:
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| George Osborne |
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| Richard Littlejohn |
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| Fearne Cotton |
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| Nick Robinson |
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| Michael McIntyre |
... or any of the vile scum from yesteryear. Jack the Ripper, Lord Lucan, Myra Hindley...
Or how about those people you forgot existed? Adam Rickett, Bill Grundy, George Formby, Jim Davidson, William Rees-Mogg...
Perhaps you'd like to vote for the famous scum and talentless wrecks of today, like Cheryl Cole, Piers Morgan, EastEnders destroyer Bryan Kirkwood, Adrian Chiles, Dappy... The choice is yours.
As with last year, you can vote for as many different people as you like; so, if you wanted to vote (for example) for James Corden, Bryan Kirkwood and Cheryl Cole, you can, but you can vote for each person once only. If you only want to vote for one person, that's obviously okay too. You're not limited by the suggestions above - last year's vote carried many people I'd not considered before. So long as they're British, they're fair game.
Can Corden hold onto his slightly rubbish crown? Or will bizarre puppet Michael McIntyre usurp him? It's entirely up to you!
Votes by midnight on July 31st please, results in early August. Ta!
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In the meantime, do check out my comic, Destinauts, which is progressing steadily (if slowly), and click "follow" while you're there (in fact, if you haven't followed Dystopian Fuchsia yet, you can do that at the top of the page). |
Back soon for a lovely Vernon Kay video I've been cobbling together. You'll like it, probably.
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