Hole in the Schedule

I've once more found myself watching Saturday night telly. I think I blame it on the minor snippet of Doctor Who that was on in last night's Children in Need, what seemed like nineteen straight hours of television made by GCSE Drama students. Terry Wogan, disappointingly, didn't get Eurovision-drunk, Alesha Dixon spoke over and hurried on pleased-with-themselves-as-punch fundraisers (who carried on the CiN tradition of product placement and advertising), and Tess, Britain's worst, most offensive Daly after the Mail, mugging to the camera in the interests of self-promotion. KYTV's Brown Nose Day (watch the link I posted yesterday) is still spot on, nearly two decades on.

So, tonight then. I ended up watching the BBC turn even more into mid-90s ITV with Hole in the Wall. Apparently, it's been going for a while, and it used to be hosted by the camp Oompah Loompah from Supermarket Sweep. Now, in a bid to counter ITV's own racist judge in Cheryl Cole, they've got Anton du Beke, who surely must be missing a couple of 'K's from his surname. Tonight, five celebrities and Kate Lawler tried to make a very subtle statement on the Berlin Wall by showing that a lot of teamwork and patience can overcome any political obstacle, physical or otherwise. Actually, it was just an excuse to have a few Z-listers dress up in giant condoms and crouch a bit. Yep, the Beeb has resorted to star jumps for entertainment. It all looks like Tron if Peter Simon directed it. Do you wonder why your licence fee has been going up? It's because they've been spending it all on huge polystyrene blocks.

It all looks a little easy from the living room, but if they are going to be spending my money on game show props, I'd like them to make it a little more interesting.

I'm drawing the line at watching Excr-Factor tonight. Once was enough. For those that do watch it, enjoy the stitch-up on show, and wait for yet another phone-in scandal.

So, Doctor Who then. The segment from The End of Time Part 1 was great. Tennant seemed to be in his element, the Ood Elder had a very familiar voiceover (apparently, it is a Hollywood actor), and it did what it intended to do: hook fans into watching it at Xmas. It does seem a shame that Tennant is going, and that's what we're going to be watching; the final two episodes of this generation's Tom Baker. It is the end of a largely positive era of Doctor Who.

In the meantime, though, the Red Button service has Dreamland, seven daily CGI-animated episodes, set between the final specials and Waters of Mars.

Prior to its launch, Russell T Davies said that it's "like cinematic sequences from a game, only better". Yes, it is better than some PS1 cinematics. However, it's really stilted, and the faces are as badly realised as that McVities "Flying" advert. But, looks aside, it's a nice story, set in 1958. I don't care if Doctor Who looks like Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings, so long as the story and quality of writing are up to scratch. Thankfully, that is the case here. The voice acting is very good (Tennant voicing his CGI doppelganger), but I recommend squinting whilst watching it. It would definitely have worked well as an audio play. Ah well, it's a little something to get us by until the main event at Xmas, and it is canonical at least.

As I type, Strictly Come Dancing has come on, Brucie and Daly adopting a Hole in the Wall-style pose. Time to go, methinks. I'm not going to end up watching this. I refuse.

Maybe next week.