Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday, you will be a real boy.

You may have noticed Your Former Leader being grilled for six solid hours the other day. The moment everybody had been waiting for (apparently), the chance to get reminded of his insincere rictus wasteland of a face, came in the form of the Chilcot Inquiry (aka The Iraq Inquiry). As you can see, he took it very, very seriously.

I won't go into the politics. I don't want to drag this place down any further than it already is. Suffice to say, he spent the whole time playing the air accordion, that ever-present defensive tone in his voice. Defensive Tone was probably his nickname in Cabinet meetings. He stuttered and spluttered his way through quarter of a day's worth of questions, his hands flailing hither and thither, quoting his answers back like Gareth Gates had written his notes, all the while being interviewed by, amongst others, Sir Lawrence Freedman, a man who so closely resembled a shaved Jimmy Greaves, I half expected Ian St John to pop up next to him and piss himself silly.

We don't need to go into the ins and outs. We know what it's about. I don't think any of us were expecting Blair to 'fess up anything out of the ordinary, despite being faced by the Iraq Inquiry panel, who even have their own logo like the fucking Justice League. If nothing else, it reminded us of the initial bright hope then painful disappointment of the Blair Years. At least we didn't have to see his postbox-faced Dementor of a wife.

Today, we learned that the Inquiry are recalling Blair because, surprise surprise, some of his evidence contradicts that of Lord Goldsmith. Clare Short is due to give evidence too, which should be fun. Apparently, Gordon Brown was in one of his fall-outs with Blair over the Iraq war, and he was threatening to join Short on the backbenches if his rumoured transfer to the Foreign Office were true. I'm looking forward to hearing more about this; on the run-up to an election, it's the last thing Brown needs. He'd need a spin doctor to whirl like a fucking dervish. Anyway, I mentioned this on Facebook earlier, only for one of my friends to state "Yes, I'd like Saddam Hussein back too." Yes, it would be terrible to have an unelected leader under a regime that's largely responsible for the veil of terror that covers the land, whilst its people despair under increasing poverty and worsening living conditions, whilst its elite reap the rewards.

Ho, ho. See what I did there?

Anyway, it should be fun, watching Clare Short bitch about her former boss. It's only a shame that her fellow conscientious objector, Robin Cook, has passed on. But, you know, it's not for everyone, sitting down and watching hour upon hour of a hated man squirming on the BBC's live news feed on their site. I just wish Paxman was on the panel.

The BBC asked me if they could use my Tweets on their page, but they never did use them in the end. Bah. Still, to make up for it, I won a caption competition run by Noel Clarke (Mickey Smith in Doctor Who) on Twitter. He chose my entry as the winner, so I've won a poster. Woo-hoo! First bit of good luck I've had all year. I know it's only just February, but you take what you can get. This leads me to two separate things. Firstly, mainly at the request of @lusty1970 on Twitter, the Caption Competition returns later this week, so keep an eye out for that.

Secondly, I need your help. I'm desperately trying to get a copy of Doctor Who Magazine issue 417:

I cannot find it anywhere, and don't fancy spending ten quid on eBay for a copy. It's only out for a few more days, but if any of you in the UK can find a copy, post a comment to this thread to let me know, and I'll reimburse you for the item and postage. Thank you, I desperately need a copy.

Sorry I've not been around much lately, I've been working on Destinauts. I'm aiming for a launch this weekend. Full details to follow.

Have a splendid evening. :)